TOP SIGNS TO TELL IF YOU SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON THE INTERNET
- Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.
- Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL" out loud.
- You find yourself trying to cock your head 90 degrees when you smile.
- You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or complete 
sentences.
- You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out".
- Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
- You have to get a 2nd phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut.
- You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.
- Your spouse now complains of you moving your fingers in your sleep 
instead of talking.
- Your kids are eating cereal morning, noon, and night.
- When someone says, "What did you say?" you reply, "Scroll up!"
- You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the 
night when your spouse is asleep.
- You turn down the lights & close the blinds so people won't know you're 
on-line again.
- You know more about your AOL friends' daily routines than you do your own 
spouse's.
- You find yourself lying to others about your time on-line & when they 
complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook.
- You would rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from partying 
too much than the truth (online all night).
- You change your screen names so much that you have to look at your own 
profile to see who you are.
- You go into labor and you stop to type a special E-mail to let everyone 
know you're going to be away and how you're feeling.
- You have a map on the wall w/ LOTS of red thumbtacks to mark where people 
are you have met.
- You look at an annoying person off-line & wish you had your ignore button 
handy.
- You bring a bag lunch & a cooler to the computer.
- You get up at 2 am to go to the bathroom but turn on the computer instead.
- You don't even notice anymore when someone has a typo.
- You stop typing whole words and use things like ppl, dunno and lemme.
- You type faster than you think.
- You can actually read & follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up 
your TV screen at the end of a movie.
- You double click your TV remote.
- You can now type over 70 wpm.