Date: Wed, 15 Feb 1995 22:05:20 +0100
From: Martin Hylerstedt <ad92mh@pt.hk-r.se>
To: fail@oberon.ckp.edu
Subject: Windows

Hey there! I found this text a while ago. It's quite old, but it
wasn't on your I hate Windows page.

There it is 	|
		|
		|
		V
******************************************************************



I have hacked into Microsoft and stolen their Windows 3.11 code and here
it is.  I am sure that they would love any improvements for the next version.

#include <windows.h>
#include <system_errors.h>
#include <stdlib.h>

char make_prog_look_big[1600000];

main()
{
   if (detect_cache())
      disable_cache();

   if (fast_cpu())
      set_wait_states(lots);

   set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
   set_mouse(action, jumpy);
   set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);

   printf("Welcome to Windoze 3.999 (we might get it right or just call it Chicago)\n");

   if (system_ok())
      crash(to_dos_prompt);
   else
      system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

   while(1) 
   {
      sleep(5);
      get_user_input();
      sleep(5);
      act_on_user_input();
      sleep(5);

      if (rand() < 0.9)
         crash(complete_system);
   }
   return(unrecoverable_system);
}